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With corporate
Holiday party season upon us, the question is this: how do you have
a real, non-work conversation with Susan from accounting?
I mean, she’s nice
and all. But normally, there’s the Cartersville Project to discuss.
What do you say
when you’re standing next to the punch bowl with a co-worker and
you’re expected to have a more social, non-work conversation?
In helping our
clients learn how to build relationships, we urge people to remember
the adage: “The secret to being interesting is to be interested.”
With that in mind,
if you want to be the life of the Christmas party, don’t put a
lampshade on your head. Be the person who shows interest in his
co-worker’s lives and really listens.
There are a few
key, non-work related questions that are sure to get your colleagues
talking.
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Question # 1: Are you planning
to go anywhere for the holidays? This is a great conversation
starter. Just about everyone has some plans for the holidays.
Often you can get your colleague to regale you with stories about
ski trips or last year’s trip to visit the parents.
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Question # 2: Does your family
have any holiday traditions? When one of our coaches visits his
wife’s family, they always set up an old model train set and make
a gingerbread house. One year the gingerbread house was so elaborate that it
was entered in a magazine contest (It didn't win).
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Question #3: What are your
kids up to?
Everyone loves talking about their kids. And usually, they’re
interesting. How is little Jimmy doing with tennis? How is
little Susie doing with her soccer team or Girl Scouts?
Of course, it’s not
enough to just ask good questions. You need to listen. And that
means really listen. The best listeners do a few key things:
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Make great eye contact.
It’s easy to tell poor listeners. They’re the ones that are
constantly looking around, checking out what else is going on, and
not really focusing on the talker.
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React verbally and facially to what
they’re hearing. If someone tells you something
interesting, react facially in a way that shows interest. Smile
or nod, or do whatever else seems natural for the moment.
React verbally as well. You might even say something
like “Wow. That’s interesting.”
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Ask follow up questions.
Great listeners allow themselves to become truly engaged in the
conversation, asking questions to really understand. “What do you
think has allowed little Susie to become so motivated about the
piano?”
Many people look at
office holiday parties as a chore. But that’s the wrong
attitude.
Arm yourself with
some questions and good listening skills and you’ll be the life of
the party. More importantly, you’ll have a good time.
At Speechworks we
help our clients learn how to communicate in a way that connects and
persuades. If you’re interested in becoming a great communicator
give us a call at 404-266-0888 or check out our website at
www.speechworks.net. |
