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Baseball great Yogi Berra once said, “I never said most
of the things I said.”
Indeed,
a funny commencement speech attributed to Berra -- and
which is circulating the internet as real -- is actually
an urban myth.
Berra
actually did deliver a commencement speech to Saint
Louis University recently. However, his comments were
pretty routine commencement fare, sprinkling in a few of
his language-twisting Yogi-isms, while urging
graduates to make the world a
better place.
Berra,
who grew up in Saint Louis, received a standing ovation
for his speech. But the address doesn’t sound like it
was nearly as much fun as the one imagined for Berra by
Dan O’Neill, a sportswriter for the St. Louis
Post-Dispatch.
O’Neill’s tongue-in-cheek version of the speech is
filled with real and imagined Yogi-isms that have helped
boost Berra’s legend.
O’Neill’s speech is reprinted below.
Enjoy.
“Thank you all for being here tonight. I know this is a busy time of
year, and if you weren't here, you could probably be
somewhere else. I especially want to thank the
administration at St. Louis University for making this
day necessary. It is an honor to receive this honorary
degree.
"It is wonderful to be here in St. Louis and to visit the old
neighborhood. I haven't been back since the last time I
was here. Everything looks the same, only different. Of
course, things in the past are never as they used to be.
"Before I speak, I have something I'd like to say. As you may know, I
never went to college, or high school for that matter.
To be honest, I'm not much of a public speaker, so I
will try to keep this short as long as I can.
"As I look out upon all of the young people here tonight, there are a
number of words of wisdom I might depart. But I think
the most irrelevant piece of advice I can pass along is
this:
"The most important things in life are the things that are least
important.
"I could have gone a number of directions in my life. Growing up on the
Hill, I could have opened a restaurant or a bakery. But
the more time I spent in places like that, the less time
I wanted to spend there. I knew that if I wanted to play
baseball, I was going to have to play baseball. My
childhood friend, Joe Garagiola, also became a
big-league ballpayer, as did my son, Dale. I think
you'll find the similarities in our careers are quite
different.
"You're probably wondering, how does a kid from the Hill become a New
York Yankee and get in the Hall of Fame? Well, let me
tell you something, if it was easy nobody would do it.
Nothing is impossible until you make it possible.
"Of course, times were different. To be honest, I was born at an early
age. Things are much more confiscated now. It seems like
a nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. But let me tell
you, if the world was perfect, it wouldn't be. Even
Napoleon had his Watergate.
"You'll make some wrong mistakes along the way, but only the wrong
survive. Never put off until tomorrow what you can't do
today. Denial isn't just a river in Europe.
"Strive for success and remember you won't get what you want unless you
want what you get. Some will choose a different path. If
they don't want to come along, you can't stop them.
Remember, none are so kind as those who will not see.
"Keep the faith and follow the Commandments: Do not covet thy
neighbor's wife, unless she has nothing else to wear.
Treat others before you treat yourself. As Franklin
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, 'The only thing you have to
fear is beer itself.'
"Hold on to your integrity, ladies and gentlemen. It's the one thing
you really need to have; if you don't have it, that's
why you need it. Work hard to reach your goals, and if
you can't reach them, use a ladder. There may come a day
when you get hurt and have to miss work. Don't worry, it
won't hurt to miss work.
"Over the years, I have realized that baseball is really just a
menopause for life. We all have limitations, but we also
know limitation is the greatest form of flattery. Beauty
is in the eyes of Jim Holder.
"Half the lies you hear won't be true, and half the things you say, you
won't ever say.
"As parents you'll want to give your children all the things you didn't
have. But don't buy them an encyclopedia, make them walk
to school like you did. Teach them to have respect for
others, especially the police. They are not here to
create disorder, they are here to preserve it.
"Throughout my career, I found good things always came in pairs of
three. There will be times when you are an overwhelming
underdog. Give 100 percent to everything you do, and
when that's not enough, give everything you have left.
'Winning isn't everything, but it's better than
rheumatism.' I think Guy Lombardo said that.
"Finally, dear graduates and friends, cherish this moment; it is a
memory you will never forget. You have your entire
future ahead of you.
"Good luck and Bob's speed."
At
Speechworks we help our clients learn how to communicate
in a way that connects and persuades. If you’re
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