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Joey Asher
President's
Perspective |
During a workshop I was approached by a “buttoned down”
looking attorney. He wanted to hit the speaking circuit,
raise his profile, and generate business.
“My problem is that I don’t really see myself as a very
exciting person,” he said. “Can you teach charisma?”
No. I can’t teach charisma. I struggle to even define
charisma. But I can teach how to give the kinds of
presentations that connect with people and help them.
It’s a matter of focusing on a few key fundamentals.
Defining “Charisma” is Difficult
A lot of people want to learn how to speak with the kind
of personal magnetism that we call “charisma.” But the
traits that make people charismatic are hard to
identify. The word derives from the Greek word for
“divine favor”. The German sociologist Max Weber, who
died in 1920, was apparently the first to describe
certain people as “charismatic”. He meant that such
people were “endowed
with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically
exceptional powers or qualities.”
But what exactly are those “qualities?” Honestly, I’m
not sure. We all recognize charisma when we see it. .
Movie stars like George Clooney have it. So do
politicians like Barack Obama and Ronald Reagan.
Everyone agrees that Colin Powell has it. So does Oprah.
In fact, if you’re widely-recognized by your first name
– Cher, Ellen, Madonna – you probably have it.
But what characterizes “it?” Steve Cohen, a magician
who performs at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City,
gets close. In his book “Win the Crowd” Cohen says that
charisma is the group of qualities that “attract people
to you.”
But then Cohen drops the ball when he says that the
qualities include “confidence” and being “the symbol of
something others desire.”
Huhh? I’m sorry Steve, but I can’t tell my clients to
“become the symbol of something others desire.” That’s
like Steve Martin’s line that the best way to become a
millionaire is to “get a million dollars.”
Ultimately, I don’t think it does much good for most
people to focus on how to become charismatic. We can’t
all be Cher.
It's
Connection Not Charisma
For most people, it’s more than enough to give
presentations that connect with listeners’ needs and
help them achieve their goals. You do that by focusing
on a few fundamentals.
Focus the message
on your listeners’ needs.
If you’re speaking to clients about trade secret laws,
focus on what the client really wants to know: how to
comply with the laws and protect their trade secrets.
They don’t care about the theory.
Keep the message
simple.
Every day I ask clients: “What are the three simple
points that you really want your client to remember?”
Write those three ideas on a piece of paper and build
the presentation from there.
Tell stories.
Working with a candidate for public office, I asked
him to tell me a story about why he was qualified. He
told about his community involvement. Your audience
will remember your stories more than anything else.
Speak with the
same passion that you speak to your best friends.
When I speak with my friends, I’m intense, leaning over
the table, excited. I find that most people speak with
intensity when they’re chatting with friends. But we
often lose that passion when we stand up to speak. It’s
too bad. That “best friend” style is a winner.
Rehearse.
Cher rehearses a lot. You can’t expect to connect with
audiences if you’re not well-prepared.
We can’t all be “charismatic”. But we all can learn to
connect and influence. It takes listener-focus, stories,
passion and rehearsal. These fundamentals make us
effective. Isn’t that enough?
Joey
Asher is President of Speechworks, a selling and
communication skills coaching company in Atlanta. He has
worked with thousands of business people in helping them
become better communicators. He is the author of “Even A
Geek Can Speak”, and “Selling and Communication Skills
for Lawyers”. He can be reached at 404-266-0888 or
e-mail Joey Asher.
His website is
www.speechworks.net. |
