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My dog
Balou is a 60-pound, black-lab mix that we adopted at a
PetSmart rescue day last year in Sandy Springs. And if
he could only talk and write on a flip chart, I’m sure
he’d be a great public speaker. That’s because he
understands how to connect with people better than most
humans.
It’s about
connection not perfection
First,
Balou understands that you can do a lot wrong if you
establish great rapport.
Balou
makes lots of mistakes. He eats the insoles out of
shoes. He chewed the upholstery on our nice living room
sofa. When he vomits on the kitchen floor, it’s truly
disturbing. And I won’t bother describing the foul and
prodigious “gift” he left for us in the basement on
Thanksgiving morning last year. I guess we forgot to
let him out the night before.
But we
forgive Balou’s mistakes because we love him. When I’m
working at the kitchen table, he sits at my feet. When
my kids come home from school, he runs to the window and
starts barking for joy. And he does this hilarious
thing with this ratty stuffed panda where . . . Well
you get the idea.
Like
Balou, great public speakers understand that you can
overcome mistakes with connection. They’re not worried
about forgetting a point, using an awkward phrase, or
having their hair out of place. They don’t worry if the
projector breaks. They know that if they connect with
the audience with energy, eye contact and stories, all
will be forgiven.
My Dog
Displays Lots of Passion
If
Balou were a public speaker, his best trait would be his
passion. Balou has no trouble expressing his
excitement. When I’m about to take him for a walk and he
sees me grab his leash, he goes berserk. He leaps,
twirls, and sneezes repeatedly (Sneezing is how Balou
shows excitement). That excitement is contagious and
endearing.
Great
speakers also show passion. I worked with an attorney
that gave a presentation on how women attorneys can
balance work and family. As she spoke, her face lit up,
her voice became intense, and her arms moved wildly.
Her passion was obvious and I was riveted.
Balou
Makes Great Eye Contact
Balou
knows that to connect with people, you need great eye
contact. If I say, “Hey Balou”, he looks up at me. If
he wants to go outside, he looks at me and barks. When
I come home from work, he shows he’s happy to see me by
looking right at me and wagging his tail.
Similarly, great speakers understand that eye contact is
critical. I worked with a project manager recently who
had great energy but looked at his feet when he spoke.
We helped him by making him hold the eye contact for
three to five seconds with individual listeners.
Balou just
loves you
Finally, Balou understands that you win affection by
showing affection. We love Balou because he loves
us and shows us in dozens of ways.
The
same is true with great speakers. They show their
affection for their audience by addressing their key
concerns rather than giving a generic speech. They leave
plenty of time for questions. They then answer those
questions with a helpful, sincere tone. Audiences
return the love that you give.
I guess
I shouldn’t be too surprised that Balou knows how to
sell himself so well. His livelihood depends on it.
Joey Asher is President of Speechworks, a selling and
communication skills coaching company in Atlanta. He has
worked with hundreds of business people helping them
learn how to communicate in a way that connects with
clients. His new book “How to Win a Pitch: The Five
Fundamentals That Will Distinguish You from the
Competition” is available on Amazon and at
www.speechworks.net. He is the author of “Selling and
Communication Skills for Lawyers” and “Even A Geek Can
Speak.” He can be reached at 404-266-0888 or joeyasher@speechworks.net. |
